Fantasizing

I seem to always have a high sexual desire. At almost every stop along the way since I graduated there have been women I desire. I didn’t make a move towards anything with them for a variety of reasons. One woman continues to stick out for me though. We worked together for two-plus years until […]

Falling off the edge?

I feel like I’m close to falling off the edge into a pit of depression. I can’t really explain the feeling…but it isn’t good. I’m am tense and tired and exasperated and drained and down and just BLAH! I want to stay in this bed for a long long time. The thought of getting up […]

Am I smart?

It matters to me. It really does. I want to know. I have been told I am. My therapists (past and present) have said I am. My last psychiatrist said I was. My wife says I am (and she has a PhD in engineering…so she is around a lot of smart people). In fact, she […]

Addicted to Junk Food

Maybe “addicted” is too strong of a word to use. Maybe it should be “can’t resist”. Except, I CAN resist…sometimes. I have a bag of chips that has been sitting on my desk since Thursday and I haven’t eaten it yet (granted, I wasn’t at work on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday). I “strongly prefer” junk […]

Hitting “reset”

I was talking with my wife this morning about all of the stress we have (mostly related to our respective jobs). I told her that “I’m tired of having to hit ‘reset’ so often now”. That’s really what I feel like I have to do…and I think it’s holding me back. Holding me back from […]

The bipolar part

As you can guess based on the address, I have bipolar disorder. Notice that I say “I have bipolar” not “I am bipolar”. I can’t let it define me. It’s a conscious struggle to not say “I am”. I’m doing well right now. I’m not letting it rule me. I have therapy once a week. […]