…between fantasy and reality.
My 20the High School Reunion is coming up. Some background first:
I was never a super “popular” kid in HS. I had a small group of “friends” and a larger group of kids I was “friendly acquaintances” with. I play sports (soccer and baseball) and I was good – but not great. I had exactly one girlfriend…who I’m now married to. The girls I “liked” usually had boyfriends or wanted to “just be friends”.
Since I left town and became a grown-up, I have only kept in touch with one person I went to HS with. He was one of my best friends in HS and was my best man in my wedding. Several others are on my Facebook…but I’m never on FB, so they basically don’t exist in my world.
Now, to the present-day:
My reunion is this summer. I have not talked with the vast majority of these people in at least 15 years. I have looked at their FB profiles on occasion but haven’t commented or “liked” any of their shit.
I have had a lot dreams about HS in the past few years, with the number increasing over the past 18 months. The dreams are one of two types:
- Me getting picked on by some passive aggressive fucks that were the “too cool” group I played sports with.
- Me having romantic/sexual encounters with girls that were in my class – some if whom that I wasn’t really even into when I was in school
In the instances of the second, I’ve gone to their FB pages to look into their lives. One of the girls who has featured prominently doesn’t have FB though.
So, what’s the point of all of this? Well, I’m wondering whether or not I should go. I feel obligated to go because it’s a 20th reunion. I don’t really give a shit about any of these people or their lives when it comes down to it. I do want to go to see how some of the girls look 20 years later though. This leads into the fantasy thing though. I kind of want to hook up with some of them. I THINK that is just fantasy though. While I might be nice looking or attractive, I don’t think any of these women would do a one-night stand with me. I also don’t want to do that to my wife and I don’t want to add that confusion/complication to my life.
As I would have to make a special trip back (6 hour drive each way) I’m really leaning towards not going. I’m just not sure it would add anything of worth to my life. If these people REALLY wanted to interact with me, they’d add me on FB or whatever. I’m not that hard to get ahold of.
What do you all think? I am thinking that the chances of me going and then the next day/week saying “I’m really glad I went to my reunion” are pretty slim.